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I remember the day The Mister told me that when we had our first child we shouldn’t find out the gender until the baby was born. We were in the car, driving home from visiting out of town friends and talking about the future. I think I probably looked at him like he was crazy. We discussed why he preferred to not find out, weighed the pros and cons and I agreed to it. I’m pretty sure I agreed because I didn’t think he’d actually stick to it. In no way do I mean to slight my husband, but surprises are not his thing. He can’t wait to give birthday and Christmas gifts because he’s so excited. So I assumed this was something we would consider, but then by the time the big ultrasound rolled around, he would want to know and we would find out.
He impressed me with his willpower, because not once during the pregnancy did he even hint at wanting to give in and find out if we were having a boy or girl. I also impressed myself with my resolve to not find out and embrace the mystery. I’m typically a planner and like to have as much information as possible before I dive into a new venture, so not knowing the gender could have been a stressful thing for me, but I actually enjoyed it!
I also remember the night we told our families that we were expecting the first grandchild on both sides and informed them of our decision not to find out the gender. My mom’s response was, “But what do I buy?!” The grandmas were more than anxious to go shopping for our little peanut and having to wait until the birth to know which colors to buy was almost more than they could handle!
Then throw in the fact that I’m extra special and my pregnancy was considered “high risk.” I was having weekly ultrasounds for the last trimester to monitor baby’s growth, so the odds of catching a peek definitely went up. But by then, the ultrasound techs knew they just weren’t going to go “down there” so they wouldn’t slip up and say “he” or “she” accidentally.
My doctor didn’t even know the gender because she didn’t want to ruin the surprise either. I think she was almost as excited for the delivery as we were by the end of my pregnancy! She got to be the one that announced the name of our baby, which was really pretty cool. When we got into the operating room, my husband and I told her the girl and boy names we had picked out and so she got to introduce us to our daughter.
Today I want to share with you some of the pros and cons of waiting until the birth to find out the gender of your baby. Whether you’re pregnant and thinking of going this route, dreaming about future babies or maybe you’re a friend or family member of someone that’s not finding out gender, I hope you enjoy this list and it gives you something to think about!
“It was the best surprise ever!”
After 9 months of guessing, knowing one way or the other was so exciting! The Mister described it as “the best surprise ever!” I think one of my favorite moments from the day of her birth is a video my sister-in-law took. There were about a dozen family members and friends in the waiting room anxiously awaiting the news. The Mister sent a group text message with a picture, her name and birth stats and my sister-in-law got that moment on video. Seeing the elation from those closest to us was so much fun and I watch that video often.
All of the “big” items on our baby registry can be used again if we have a boy in the future.
The crib, dresser, bookshelf and night stand are all white, the chair and ottoman in her room is gray with white piping. Her infant car seat and stroller are black and we opted for a neutral pack ‘n play, bouncy seat, swing and rock ‘n play. I’m sure a little brother would be just fine in pink, but it’s still nice knowing that our big stuff will go with any color scheme in the future.
People actually bought the things we registered for instead of clothes.
This may sound crazy, because babies definitely need clothes, and a lot of them. But since people didn’t know whether to get blue or pink, instead of the insanely adorable outfits they saw while out shopping, they got us the things on our registry. That helped so much because those were the items we really needed. Family and friends took care of the clothes once Little Miss was born. She had a full wardrobe before we even left the hospital!
It’s so much fun to hear people’s guesses.
It seemed like everyone I know had an opinion or guess about if the baby was a boy or girl. I had everyone from family, friends, and people at church to random people in the grocery store and the dental hygienist chiming in on what the gender was. It was really pretty funny to see who was on Team Pink or Team Blue by the end of my pregnancy. I even switched back and forth a few times!
You almost have to plan too much.
I really do think this was the only con for us, and I’m not sure I would even call it a con. Planning for either a boy or a girl could get tricky (and expensive) if you let it, but we tried to keep gender specific things really simple. They had us pre-pay for a circumcision in case it was a boy, but we got a refund because Little Miss didn’t need one of those! My mom and I bought 2 “going home” outfits- one for a boy and one for a girl and several gender neutral onesies, pants and hats. We decorated Little Miss’s room in neutral colors (aqua and orange with gray and white accents), so her room really wasn’t an issue either.
Overall, we really enjoyed our experience of not finding out the gender of our baby until she was born. Once I heard that cry, I didn’t care if it was a boy or a girl, I was just thrilled and thankful to have a healthy baby. If we are blessed with another child, I’m not sure if we’ll find out the gender or not. I’m kind of leaning toward finding out, just because I think I would like that experience too, but we will see.
What are your thoughts on this? Have you gone the route of not finding out? Do you think I’m nuts for waiting? (Don’t worry, you wouldn’t be the first!) Are you pregnant and trying to decide what you’re going to do? Leave a comment and let’s chat about it!